speed dating

I went speed dating last night! It was awesome: it's held inside a huge bar, I had a little half-booth (I shared it with a volumptuous, late-twenties, Italian Jersey girl, named, somehow, Midori, who explained to me (and the last guy I spoke with, "Ragan D.") that she was a "very, very sexual person" and making her choices "solely on that basis."), anyway I had a half booth and every three minutes a bell would ring and a new guy would come over and talk to me. I met 31 men in 2 hours and 80% of them were interesting, attractive, socially skilled and between 25 and 40! I was very impressed!

Quite aside from any romantic interest, it's hilarious to see what people do with the 3 minutes. It's a bit like being a judge on American Idol, only they talk instead of sing*.

what they said

One or two had a prefab line, like "I'm so excited Halloween is coming up: it's my favorite holiday! What's your favorite holiday and why?" Obviously, I have considered this question before, and so could quickly (but casually, pretending to think for just a couple seconds) reply, "My favorites are the ones you don't have to do anything for: Martin Luther King Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day: the lazy person's holidays. I hate the expectation-heavy holidays: Halloween, Valentines Day, Christmas, etc." The guy grimaced, because he knew my response crushed his question, and right then I felt a lot like you feel when someone walks straight into a line you prepared for someone else years ago but still remember clearly.

A couple just came out with the facts ("hi, I'm Alan M, I'm a 32 year old dentist and I love to walk my dogs and travel!").

A lot asked me where I was from, which is for me a disturbing question, because in general what the person means is "why do you talk funny" and when I say "I was born in England" (a phrasing I arrived at after several years of practice: I'm not making any claims or taking any positions; I am neutrally stating a fact.), people often reply "No, but you don't have an English accent." Then sometimes I say "I moved around a lot as a kid," and sometimes I just stare at them angrily and shrug, because, really, why are they arguing with me about where I'm from? But I was nice to everyone last night.

I mostly used the "how was your weekend?" line, which I enjoyed (for a time). I think it's a very good opener, because it's

1) open-ended,

2) asks what they do in the time I am most interested in seeing them, and

3) made almost everyone immediately defensive because they did nothing this weekend.

After a while, I realized it's important to have several questions, because whatever you ask always gets asked back at you, and I got bored of talking about my weekend after the 20th time.

After each person you write yes or no on a card and then go home, log on to the website, and check off whomever you want to see again. You get sent their email address if they want to see you too. I said yes to about twelve people, but only got three matches, which honestly surprised me a lot, I assumed I would get a lot more, 8 or 10 maybe, but I guess it's good to expect to be liked?

One guy had a hilarious job: he illustrated a US Army comic book called Preventive Maintanance.

*but imagine if birds speed-dated.