Most people consider me a well traveled, sophisticated, and sensuous suitor, yet I like others have limited time to find dates. So yes, I went on Eharmony and was matched 92% with Liz. I took her to the Blue Bar at the Algonquin Hotel, I bought her a Martini-on-the-Rock and listened to find out who she was a person, her dreams, and to see if we had any chemistry together. When she pulled out a wallet and asked if I wanted to see some pictures, I was anxious and delighted to perhaps see some of her family members, but instead it turned out to be countless random hands with arsenic poisoning. She proceeded to spit out her ten thousand dollar drink and toss it off the bartenders head yelling, "it tastes like uranium!!" She rolled on the ground gasping, had she been my charades partner I would have been a little more tolerant of her fish out of water routine, but it was quite embarrassing. I thought we could remain distant friends, but I'm sad to report, that Liz is in love with me, and has been stalking me ever since. I started getting rather suspicious when my houseplants started to occasionally sneeze, and how Papa Johns kept delivering to an unmarked van parked across the street with a zodiac rabbit bumper sticker. I was used and abused by Matt Phelps, and now I fear Liz will eventually corner me and have her way with me as well. Had this been Mr. Panelas I'd question making any complaint, had it been anjiaoshi...I'd keep quiet...
7 comments:
Nice. I love the one they did in Grand Central, where everybody freezes. There was another one in a mall food court that was pretty good.
A break from the humdrum flow of daily life.
Most people consider me a well traveled, sophisticated, and sensuous suitor, yet I like others have limited time to find dates. So yes, I went on Eharmony and was matched 92% with Liz. I took her to the Blue Bar at the Algonquin Hotel, I bought her a Martini-on-the-Rock and listened to find out who she was a person, her dreams, and to see if we had any chemistry together. When she pulled out a wallet and asked if I wanted to see some pictures, I was anxious and delighted to perhaps see some of her family members, but instead it turned out to be countless random hands with arsenic poisoning. She proceeded to spit out her ten thousand dollar drink and toss it off the bartenders head yelling, "it tastes like uranium!!" She rolled on the ground gasping, had she been my charades partner I would have been a little more tolerant of her fish out of water routine, but it was quite embarrassing. I thought we could remain distant friends, but I'm sad to report, that Liz is in love with me, and has been stalking me ever since. I started getting rather suspicious when my houseplants started to occasionally sneeze, and how Papa Johns kept delivering to an unmarked van parked across the street with a zodiac rabbit bumper sticker. I was used and abused by Matt Phelps, and now I fear Liz will eventually corner me and have her way with me as well. Had this been Mr. Panelas I'd question making any complaint, had it been anjiaoshi...I'd keep quiet...
wtf lol
Dennis Monokroussos presented a lecture called The Best Trap is the One You Fall Into.
i'm surprised there is a $10,000 drink being served anywhere
i dont know which i laughed more at, the original post or that julius guys comment 8)
Nice!
Mrs. Chessloser
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