Friday, June 6, 2008

Hilarious Student Perspective on Chess-Playing Personalities

EXTRA CREDIT ASSIGNMENT

1) The Aggressive Chess type-
I've known plenty of these types of players. These players are always the one looking for a huge attack since move one. One person that I could think of right away is ******. He makes me laugh sometimes during the Mr. Sher lessons. In all of his games, I always see him play some type of crazy move that attacks the king but just completely messes up his entire position. When Mr. Sher gives us a very complicated position where white has a huge queen side attack and black tries to stop the attack. ******* raises his hand and says, "...f5, for a king side attack."
Mr. Sher usually responds with laugh and says, "Are you serious?"
I start laughing. I even see Mr. Galvin laughing. Other aggressive chess players like to play really attacking openings (Like *******). I'm not that kind of type of Chess player, except when I have an opportunity to.

2) The show off -
This is the type of chess player that say that they are going to win all their games. They also act all cool when they win and brag about how they won. But when they lose they always make up some lame excuse of why they lost. They say I missed a tactic or I was winning but they outplayed me in the endgame or the most famous of them all, "I messed up." I know a lot of these types. The people who do these types of things are basically everybody. I think I probably did this before. Everybody in the I.S 318 chess team does this, in almost every single tournament.

3) The foolish type players-
This is the type of chess player that always seems to be fooling around at every single moment. One person that comes up in my mind right away is **** ****** and **** *******. They are some really close friends who fool around all the time. They fool around during G/30's, during after school almost all the time. They act serious mainly in overnight tournament (games only). There is never a moment when they are not fooling around. I think that I am a little like that except when I am playing a rated game. I think most people are like that, but the ones who are serious are the high rated players.

4) The old grumpy type of chess players-
This is the chess player who is old, really, really, really boring and gets annoyed pretty easily. I see these types of chess players at the Marshall Chess club. There are always grumpy men over there. There was this one time when Michael was playing a 2100 hundred. Michael offered him a draw, and the man got pissed off, for no reason. One man that comes up first in my mind of cranky people is *** *****. When he is playing and someone is observing his game he tells you to go away. He also gets mad over anything. This one time he was eating and these kids were laughing. He tells them to keep it down.

5) The calm one chess player-
The calm one is the player who doesn't freak during his/her games. When they are down a pawn in an endgame they don't panic at all. The panicking players get really scared when they are down material; they start to try to win really hard that they end up being crushed. I think I am one the calm ones. When I am down exchange or something else I don't get scared and just hang something and lose right away. When I play a 1200-1400 and am down a pawn for no reason I stay calm and eventually win. I see a lot of people who are calm, everywhere.

6) The Good players-
The players who are good get the most respect. Like in school the top rated players almost get what they want. During overnight trips the high rated people tell Mr. Galvin that the rooms are messed up and then they tell them the room that they want. Especially *******, he gets whatever he wants. He wants somebody in his room then he gets it. He wants somebody to get kicked out of his room then he gets what he wants from Mr. Galvin. I sometimes get what I want (I think). The good players always get most of the credit when their school wins national championships. They probably get 5-6 points out of seven when they are 1700-2000. But the lower rated who are like 1200-1500 who get 4-5 don't get that much credit.


7) *****'s type-

I think that ***** is the type of people who get themselves in really weird and bad situations. Since sixth grade he has gotten himself in plenty of weird and bad situations like the chicken accident. He also lost his cell phone a couple of times during Mr. Golden's after school program. He is also kind of weird and fun to be around with. The fun to be around with him is the fact that he will always make you laugh. Something slightly bad happens to him then he turns it completely around. There was this one time when he said he had a coconut tree in his backyard. So Ms. Santamaria told him to bring a picture of this coconut tree so she could believe him. Then two days later he said that his parents lied to him about having a coconut tree when he said he had one in his backyard. He is also weird because he sometimes pretends he is emo or he is a ninja and is going to kill everybody.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I demand a detailed account of "the chicken accident."

Anonymous said...

+1

Anonymous said...

+2

abby said...

lol darrian u are the shit

Elizabeth Vicary said...

The chicken accident was described in *****'s first writing piece for me, a personal narrative comically entitled "Betrayal By Chicken." Unfortunately, the incident itself was anything but funny and is way too vulgar (conceptually) to describe on this blog.

Sorry.

BTW, this isn't Darrian's writing Abby--although she did write on the same topic earlier in the year. That became the inspiration for this second writer's last minute extra credit masterpiece.

Anonymous said...

show your belly button in a picture.

Anonymous said...

1) It is very unsatisfying to the reader to hint at a chicken accident and then not follow through.

2) Whoever ***** is, he or she is evidently a middle school student and already a genre unto themselves. That is awesome.

Elizabeth Vicary said...

Why do you want to see my belly button?

I apologize for the lack of satisfaction, really, but I have my younger and more sensitive readers to think about.

BlunderProne said...

Hi Elizabeth,
HAve you checked out "the Mascots" attempt at sensationalized chess journalism on Liquid Egg Product ( http://www.liquideggproduct.com/a-sneak-preview-of-chess-enquirer/ )? Is it true Satan is taking you to court for stealing souls? BTW, Apparently I am haunted by the ghost of Staunton... but he doesn't have all his facts straight.

I like your blog.

Polly said...

I love the description of the grumpy old men at the Marshall. I can think a number of players there who fall under that description. A few of them have been frequent opponents of mine there.