Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Christmas Poems


My cats recently learned to jump up to the top shelf of my closet, and last night knocked over all my old letters and notebooks. I found a diary I kept from the late 90s, when Greg, Jenn, Donny Ariel and I went to play in Groningen together. We celebrated Christmas together (between rounds 5 and 6), and so I wrote everyone a Christmas poem. I'm afraid I can't share Donny's because it was too rude, but here are Jenn and Greg's.

Jenn's Christmas Poem

Your skin is thick, white,
soft as a rabbit's.
You have several strange
and peculiar habits.

There are many types of wood:
cedar, pine, cherry, and balsa.
This does not explain
your obsession with salsa.

You are a lover of luxury,
of cashmere and silk.
You are a rich creamy white
consumer of milk.

You borrow my pens.
You use my conditioner.
You are an avid and vigorous
Dragon practitioner!


Greg's Christmas Poem

We have so much fun,
oh, why do you spoil it,
by refusing to clean
the bathtub and toilet*?

I'm sorry we broke up.
I know that it's my loss.
No one else could make me
want to drink so much hot sauce**.

Her letters are frequent***,
affectionate, zealous.
Do you really believe
I'm not the slightest bit jealous?

Chess girls adore you.
You've been loved by so many.
Oh, would it have helped
if I'd been named Jennie?


*we lived together at the time
**we had had this party, at the end of which I drank a cup of tabasco to in an effort to impress Greg
*** at the time Greg was dating Jennie Frenklakh, and they wrote each other long letters.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure whose loss it was. I can vouch for both of you entertaining me quite frequently through your blog and his game commentaries....

phishcake5 said...

These kinds of poems are a kick to create, and probably even more fun for its recipient if done well.

Thanks for sharing.

ATH2044 said...

I'm curious about how you managed to get down a whole cup of tobasco sauce without going into convulsions. Did this actually have the desired effect of impressing him?
You might make a great competitor on one of those Fear Factor type game shows.
I have to agree with Anon above; both you & Greg are immensely entertaining. It's too bad the chess audience in the US is so small; either or both of you could host a TV show that would easily be a lot better than whatever Bret Michaels is up to.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely Audenesque!

Is that photo from the tournament? Did Greg and Jen travel to Europe only to be paired against each other?

gurdonark said...

I like that you can laugh at yourself.

Elizabeth Vicary said...

wouldn't be fair if everyone else could laugh at me and I couldn't.

annewalker said...

I've been looking for some nice collection of short Christmas poems that can also be used as card verses and I think I found some ideas here, I am just not sure if I am allowed to use some of the wording as card verses, while giving its credit to the author. Anyways, happy holidays everyone!

Anne Walker