Monday, October 8, 2007

Arguing on the Internet

Did you hear this joke?
"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics.
You might win, but you're still retarded."

I heard this from my friend Dave, I think at some point when I was sobbing inconsolablely over a random anonymous internet crack on me. This was in my younger, more sensitive days.

The joke points to the fundamental truth that 99% of people posting on the internet have completely lost their minds and live in a meaningless hollow shadow world.

But despite my awareness of this, I will admit that two summers ago I got obscene amounts of enjoyment from a newsgroup I subscribed to briefly called fidechess. In it, Paul and Sam would post pages and pages of truly bizarre invective aimed at each other: accusations not only of heinous sins in the real world, but of trecherous internet behavior as well: stealing computers, posting under false names, raping and kidnapping women, grotesquely exaggerating trivial personal anecdotes, you name it. Let's just say they had a wide range of beefs with each other. (Sometimes, on long car rides, my boyfriend and I would read these letters to each other in silly voices. My favorite parts were two of PT's standard refrains:
"Stand up, unite, and defend our children!"
"You belong to jail, not to the executive board!")

Fond memories!

And now on to the New York Times:
After running, just last week, what is certainly the finest correction ever:

They outdo themselves today:

My favorite part:
"Mr. Truong denied the accusations. “The charges are absolutely outrageous, and it is based on information that was obtained 100 percent illegally from the U.S.C.F.,” he said in an interview Friday from his home in Lubbock, Tex."

Meaning...."it's all lies and it's not fair they told you"??


Anonymous said...

Not only him, but all his base are belong to jail.

Ed Scimia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ed Scimia said...

Nice post - easily the best take on the whole Sloan/Truong/whomeever else situation I've seen. :) I deleted the first comment due to my terrible spelling and an inability to edit it.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps it is best if we divide comments into two sets - those by real authors and those by fake authors.

Thank you,

Fake Mark Ginsburg

Anonymous said...

Edgar Allen Poe had it right:

"All that we see or seem,
Is but a dream within a dream"

Who knows if we are awake or asleep, real or fake?

I may really be a Grandmaster, and just dreaming that I'm a Patzer.